Sheridan R. Barringer

There is a detailed story in my General Thomas Rosser biography (Custer’s Gray Rival: The Life of Confederate Major General Thomas Rosser), being released in September, which tells of Rosser’s first serious romance. It seems that young Rosser, then attending West Point, was on his only furlough, heading for his Texas home aboard a steamer on the Mississippi. He met a pretty young lady name Ellen and was immediately smitten. Upon separating they corresponded. In early 1862, during the war, Rosser was dispatched sent south to New Orleans to recruit additional artillerymen. Well, this was the perfect chance to go see Ellen, who lived just outside of Fayetteville, Mississippi. Before leaving Richmond, he purchased a diamond engagement ring. Upon reaching her home, he knocked on the door, and when it was opened by a servant, he asked for Ellen and was shown to a waiting room. Soon, Ellen appeared, showing Rosser to a sofa, where they began chatting. Soon, Rosser pulled out he engagement ring, asking Ellen to marry him. Regrettably for Rosser, Ellen declined saying, “If you survive the war, you may come claim me.” Stunned, young Rosser at first would not take “no” for an answer, assuring her the war would be a very short one. Ellen persisted in saying “no.” Well, Rosser, never taking rejection well at all, decided to hang around a couple of more days to change her mind. After three days of trying to convince Ellen, Rosser finally gave up, having to proceed to New Orleans. They parted on a sour note–the relationship was over. Ellen’s last name was unknown until my further research uncovered it.

 

From "Custer's Gray Rival: The Life of Confederate Major General Thomas Lafayette Rosser.":

"I can truly say now that I never met a more enterprising, gallant or dangerous enemy during those four years of terrible war, nor a more genial, wholesouled, chivalrous gentleman in peace than Major General George A. Custer."

Thomas Rosser on learning of George Custer's death at the Little Bighorn.

​

Antonia Ford Willard.

In October 1861, Miss Ford was made an honorary aide-de-camp by J.E.B. Stuart in appreciation for her spying. Miss Ford was arrested for spying in March 1863, but released that same year once she signed the Oath of Allegiance. She was the object of many a suitor, but preferred to "play the field." She married Major Joseph Willard, in 1864. Willard was co-owner of the Willard Hotel in Washington. The couple had three children, but only one survived. Antonia died in 1871, at age 33, from the lingering effects of imprisonment and child bearing.

Peter Hairston wrote his wife of a remarkable incident. He had heard one of the most romantic incidents of the war. Miss Antonia Ford of Fairfax Court House, having received information through Federal officers who took up quarters in her mother’s house, that the enemy intended to make an attack on the 18th of July on Manassas and their plan of attack. She procured permission to visit her grandmother who lived six miles off. She then procured an old and rough-going horse and made her way to Manassas where she was taken prisoner by Capt. Tom Rosser. He then carried her to General P. G. T. Beauregard, and she revealed to him their plan of attack, which enabled him to place his men in ambush and commit such havoc on the enemy on the 21st. Hairston recalled seeing a beautiful bouquet which Antonia had sent Capt. Rosser. Hairston said that he would not be surprised "if the matter ended by her leading him captive. She is said to be beautiful and accomplished and I know him to be a brave and gallant man. It was said that while Confederates still held the area near Alexandria, Rosser invited Miss Ford to Munson's Hill, close enough to peer through a spyglass at the skeleton of the Capitol dome in Washington."

​

Rosser had a drinking problem.

In an 1863 Christmas Eve letter from Rosser to his wife, Betty, he reflected on his relationship with her and his failings to her as a husband; he promised to do better: "I am just learning my duty to my dear wife, and my darling, you must not entertain any fear concerning my behavior in your absence. As God lives my dear wife I promise most solemnly that I will not drink again. The promise I gave to you last, I did not, while at Fred's, fully fulfill. God forgive me! I have repented and will never repeat….I will never drink again, I most solemnly promise!"

Continuing in his reflective state of mind, Rosser wrote Betty from near Mount Jackson, "I have sinned grievously of late and there is one thing which you must pardon. Remember my precious wife, you to know everything I do--well as I came thorough Fredericksburg, I accidentally got very drunk, this too at Mr. Alsop's. So very badly did I behave, that all the ladies knew it….I have quit....

Source: Savior of the Valley: Major General Thomas Lafayette Rosser by Sheridan R. Barringer

Footnotes enumerated in the book.

​